You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just want to make out with him forever
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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