Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
