i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize