Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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