Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
