Your tits are I can't wait for
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
