Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
