you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
