I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
