carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
40s are totally the cure
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize