Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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