she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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