The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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