I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I need water and some morals
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
