So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
