just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
When did angry sex become our thing?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
