U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
