She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
