I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
