At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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