we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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