Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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