david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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