did you get engaged???
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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