We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
