I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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