I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
