Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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