I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
