I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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