I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
