its not stalking. its research.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize