its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
