on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize