We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
