I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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