I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
