She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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