I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
