i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
