Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My vagina just recognized that song.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize