I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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