He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
