I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
