I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
