i don't like sucking hair
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
