As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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