Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Semen is not good for contacts.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
