Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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