Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
