Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
