Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize