Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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