butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
