You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
