Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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